Staying Positive After a Few Bad Dates…

You’ve committed to finding the one and have been out with a bunch of new prospects. Only problem is, you’ve had one bad date after another and now you’re questioning if sitting at home is actually more fun than going out with the most recent date you’ve planned for Saturday night.

When you’re dragged down by hours of looking at dating profiles, messages that don’t go anywhere and one mediocre date after the other, it’s really easy to get inside of your head and fill it with negativity.
Will I ever find the one? Am I just choosing the wrong ones? Isn’t love supposed to be easy? Is something wrong with me?
Sound familiar? As someone who’s been there, I know how it feels to go through those days (sometimes weeks) where you just want to throw in the towel. Don’t be discouraged; while dating is hard, a love worth having takes effort and a positive state of mind.
Here are some tips to help you get back on track.
Find the Lesson in Every Situation
There are no bad dates, there are only dating lessons. You may have not found the love of your life (yet), but you did meet a new friend, potential career opportunity or a person you can call up to share a hobby with. Those are all wonderful reasons to keep dating.
Continuing to date will also teach you more about yourself and what you’re looking for. Perhaps a non-negotiable arises for you or you realize that you need a partner who has more time to spend with you. The more dates you go on, the more in touch you will be with your needs in a partner.
Lean on Your Support System
When you are limited on time, it’s hard to both date and have time for your friends. But spending time with people we already like is a great way to refocus and reenergize our efforts. Call your friends or family and schedule a date with them. Go see a movie or have brunch so you can laugh and be at ease with the people you love.
When you hang with your support system, be sure not to go down the rabbit hole of venting that turns into complaining. Complaining about your relationship status, the men/women you meet, or the horrible dates you’ve been on will only bring more of that into your life. That’s the law of attraction. Instead, really focus on being optimistic.
Reconnect to Your Purpose
There’s a reason you keep going on all of these dates, right? You want a happy and successful relationship. It’s when things get tough that you need to recommit to that purpose.
Get out a piece of paper and start jotting down your purpose. “I want a great partner,” is not enough. Get detailed with your purpose and the life that you see for yourself in a relationship. How would that transform your life from where it is now and why is it important to you? Reconnect to that purpose and recommit to the journey that gets you there.
Add Variety to Your Dating Life
Are the mundane coffee dates and dinners not working for you? Make your next first date an activity that you know you’ll enjoy regardless of whether you and your date instantly connect. Take a painting class, go on a hike, or window shop through your favorite neighborhood. Whatever the activity, just be sure it still allows you and your date time to talk and get to know each other.

How to Grab a Woman’s Attention

If you want to succeed with women, you need to learn how to stand out from the crowd and grab a woman’s attention.

And no, it’s not about fancy clothes or pick-up lines. It’s about learning a few key skills that will make a lasting impression. Here are four tips you can use immediately:
1. Re-Tool Your Body Language
When you’re approaching a woman, remember that your body language is more important than the words you use. Most guys use apologetic body language and voice tones…they look as if they’re pleading with a woman to give them approval. So think about how you’d act if you were the “selector” – if you wanted to find out if she’s exceptional enough that you’d want to get to know her better, instead of YOU being concerned about whether or not she’s going to like YOU. Big shift, isn’t it? Remember this on your next approach and you’ll have a lot more success.
2. Know What You’ll Say Ahead Of Time
Sit down and think carefully about common situations where you see women you’d like to meet. Come up with 10 different ways you could start a conversation in these situations, pick your favorite, and mentally rehearse it. Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simple conversation starters.  “Hi.” “What are you drinking?” “Hey, are you from around here?” I realize that these sound simple, and they are. They don’t come across as canned “pick-up lines”, and they help you figure out very quickly if the woman you’re talking to is friendly.
3. Get Numbers Smoothly
It might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will often give you her number within a minute or two of meeting her. The secret is to ask correctly when you’re leaving. Ask her if she has email, then when she says yes, tell her “Great, I’m leaving, but I’d like to chat with you again. Here, write it down. And write your number there, too.” You’ll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their email and number that easily. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
4. Grabbing Attention Online
The number one mistake men make online is writing normal, boring stuff and asking normal, boring questions. Do not, under ANY circumstances, talk about NORMAL stuff. This will give you an advantage over 90% of the other men looking for women online. Trust me.
Most guys don’t take the time to work on themselves. If you really want to grab a woman’s attention – and KEEP it – then be one of the few men who take the time to develop themselves into the kind of guy WORTHY of an amazing woman’s attention. Invest in yourself – get an education on how to attract women naturally – and that’ll do more than anything else to put you on the path to success with women you want.

15 Great First Date Questions

There they sit—you could spot them a mile away. A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward.

No doubt about it, they’re on their first date.
How do we know it’s their first time out together? All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact.
Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. He seems tongue-tied, she seems self-conscious. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation.
Him: How’s your salad?
Her: Good. And yours?
Him: Yeah, really good.
More excruciating silence ensues.
As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward . . . or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely.
Do not let this happen to you! It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society. Sometimes they lead to burning love; sometimes they go down in flames. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse:
Listen as much or more than you talk. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Each person gets a turn—and no one hogs the ball.
Peel the onion, don’t stab it with a paring knife. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. It’s a slow and safe process. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. For now, take it easy.
Don’t dump. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.
Genuine interest goes a long way. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.
With those thoughts in mind, now it’s time to think about specific first date questions.
Try these:
1. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?
2. What kinds of things really make you laugh?
3. What’s your favorite place in the entire world?
4. Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?
5. Favorite movie of all time? Why so?
6. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?
7. What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday?
8. Do you have any pet peeves?
9. What was your family like growing up?
10. What were you like as a kid?
11. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?
12. Did you—or do you—have a nickname? What’s the story behind it?
13. Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor? Why?
14. Have you figured out your calling in life? What is it?
15. What do you hate most about the dating process? (Tell me so I can avoid it!)
See more first date questions we love!
Maybe you’ve got your own great first date questions, surefire winners that get the conversation rolling. If not, use these and come up with others—but by all means, give some forethought to how you’d like a discussion with a new partner to unfold. You’ll give yourself a chance at a magnificent, rather than miserable, first date.

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